Final Draft

Jacob Koontz

Santana

9/28/2012

Eng 101

My Track

The Space I chose was the track here at ASU. It’s a big gated area with a large section of bleachers on one side that stands high over the track. The track is a bright red with lots of white lines that form lanes and starting lines all over the track and circles around a large portion of bright green grass and a small part of white track that fills a portion of the circle for the jump events. It’s a large wide open space that when empty is a nice peaceful place that has a great view of the football stadium. While this provides a great visual picture of the track, there is a lot more there than you may have originally thought.

The coaches and the athletes who have spend countless hours working hard and competing on the track have a sense of “place attachment” (Vanclay), this was apparent all the times that I was there because both the player the coaches and even anyone else who ran there were dedicated people of all skills and abilities, you can see it on their face that they are driven and they each have their own individual means and motivation as to why they are on that track every day. This dedication indicates some sort of attachment to the track because they go there almost daily for some to run, showing that the track means something to them. But what is amazing about that simple red track is that it can have a separate identity for everyone, it has no limiting factors so anyone can make their own memories there. It can be the dream finally realized it can be the place where you finally lost that weight you wanted to lose. But it can be

sad too, it can be where you weren’t good enough to make team or where you got injured and had to quit competing. It’s like a blank board where you can fill in what you have done there which is what gives it a different identity to everyone.

At the track there is a sense of something familiar maybe my high school track because every outdoor track is shaped and made in pretty much the same way so every track is almost identical but every athlete would no right away if this was his or her track, because if you spend enough time on one particular track you will feel a certain level of comfort running on that track because everything is familiar to you because it’s the track you have spent so much time running on, creates a sense of familiarity . That familiarity with something is what makes you feel comfortable and it can give you confidence because use you are use to your track, and that feeling is the opposite when you go to a different track, because while you are familiar with what a track is and looks like, but you’re not as comfortable because it’s not your track. And people tend to like thing more, when they are comfortable and use to where they are because then everything is familiar and when everything is familiar there is less you have to focus on and worry about. Once you are familiar with the track you have a sense of place awareness because you understand and no exactly where everything is and being comfortable with every inch of the track knowing what lane is the fastest, where there is an imperfections are. Sense they have complete place awareness then that means they also have place familiarity of the track.

There is a sense of a great sense of commitment on the track, because they run and train on the same track almost every day, this time put in builds a commitment to that track because that’s where they put in their work, that track embodies everything that they have work for .Even people who don’t run on the track team but consistently run on the track still have a sense of place commitment because they all had their time when they had to put in their work which over time develops into a commitment with that track because it still hold all the memories that they created there. That track will forever hold any and all memories anyone is willing to create there and they have a commitment to that track because every time they step back out onto that track all of the memories they have made their will come rushing back and they will get the sensation of returning home and that feeling is truly why they have place commitment because human being look for things and places to connect to. Satisfaction comes from happiness or excitement and if you’re a runner the track on race day will create enough excitement to make you sick, and the satisfaction can be from lots of things from winning a race to symbolize all the hard work finally paying off to someone fighting to lose weight and maybe save their life, that too can create that place satisfaction because when you look at that track you can visualize all of the hard work you have done and all off the accomplishments you have achieved there. I can relate to this because I ran track all 4 years of high school and I have place commitment to my high school track because it’s the place where I’ve made a name for myself, where I have met some of my best friends and where I have some of my greatest memories, even though the track here is not the same place I ran in high school it still reminds me of my track and will always bring a smile to my face.

A track is simply just a bunch or rubber laid out in a circle that totals 400 meters around. It’s then sprayed a bright red then white lines are added on making up the 8 to 9 different lanes on a track and starting lines for each individual race. It may look simple and boring but there is so much more to it than just a place where people run. It can be the dream you’ve had sense running in high school it can be the place where you met your best friend or the love of your life. It’s a big wide open space that you can fill with whatever memories you want to create, like running college track and creating an attachment to that place because it was where you made a difference, or where you worked and achieved some life time goal you have for yourself, that’s the beauty of it because it can be everything to you or nothing to you at all, that’s why I chose the track because back home my track has so many memories for me, and I want to create that attachment to the track here as well.

 

The place is chose was the track here on campus, I choose the track because I love running and I was a runner in high school. The view point i selected was Vanclays and how we as humans have special connections with a place that generate different feelings and emotions. I started with a general description of my place then went into more details about how every track is identical but completely separate. My first paragraph was about place attachment so i talked about the people who go there every day and the coaches who work there and how they all were separate people but through that track were all connected, and that dedication to something creates a sense of attachment. My second paragraph talks about familiarity and how people connect with thing when something special occurs at that place or when you are familiar with it because it can remind you of something. My last paragraph talked about commitment to a place and how the multiple times I have been to the track I always see the same people, because running isn’t something people do like once a week or a year it’s a place for the hard workers for the people who will go everyday and work till they can’t go anymore, that’s dedication and commitment to getting better, stronger, or faster. Then my conclusion rapped up talking about how special that place is, and how something so ordinary can be so extraordinary.

Writing project 1 replys

Alexis Aldana's Rough draft

I love you're first paragraph. I found it extremely detailed and interesting. You presented the space very well and it made me clearly imagine the space you were talking about. The first paragraph was really well written and made me love your perspective on your space. Then when you used your senses to greater visualizing the space based on what it looks like, what it smells like, and even how it sounds. Then towards the end when you talked about racial diversity and how the space was like a level playing field where people didn’t look at race or skin color but a fellow student that point, that was a great point to incorporate into your writing, but maybe you could of went into more detail about the racial equality because that in it itself could have been an entire paragraph in your rough draft. Another solid part of your paper was when you discussed why and how that space is special to you was a great ending, it provided a great detailed perspective and insight to why you selected the M.U. as your space because you wrote entirely from your own point of view which made it different and individual to you. Grading wise you met all of the requirements and your quote was awesome and completely relevant to the point you were trying to make. When you write your final draft try to tie the last 2 paragraphs to your main thesis or add it in your conclusion .Your essay was very good and I enjoyed reading your perspective.

Cerelia Torres

To start off with your introduction it was written well and I enjoyed the little bit of humor you injected into your writing it makes reading it a lot easier, because it seems like you enjoyed writing it. Back to your introduction I enjoyed your examples of why people use the library because they are things we all need in college, but maybe you could include more detail about the library in the intro.  Your second paragraph had all of the detail and it was really intriguing how you presented your space with not just a visual of walking inside but the atmosphere and how it even smelled, made the library seem like an almost magical place. I also like how you incorporated your lens into the writing it was a great part in your essay for you to present your lens through which you are writing this essay, but you could of went into more detail about you lens and exactly your lens was contributing to the paragraph. I also liked how you talked about the rue=les of the library that everyone just understands, no signs, no direction required, because when you in the Hayden library everyone changes their etiquette and knows that the library is cut off from the outside and in here is where students come to get work accomplished and you discussed about it in great detail which was my favorite point in your paper. Your conclusion was strong and sounds and I think you hit all of the requirements with ease and I enjoyed reading your writing.  

Guided Notes

Writing Project #1 Worksheet

Your Space: Track

What are the intended functions of the space?

-For runners to train and compete on.

What overt messages does the space send (i.e., openly communicated through signs)?

-to run as fast as you can

What covert messages does the space send (i.e., hidden messages)?

-to work as hard as you can

Have previous users left traces behind in the space?

-no really, just the mental knowledge of who has ran there

Has the space been re-appropriated (i.e., beyond its original functions)?

-no it has not been re-appropriated

What social or cultural customs did you observe (i.e., rules governing appropriate behavior)?

-The track breeds competition

Who has access to the space? Are there insiders and outsiders?

-Anyone has access to the track but the athletes on the team are the insiders

Who owns the space?

-ASU owns the space

What is the space’s value (i.e., monetary or otherwise)?

-probably a lot of money and memories for the athletes who have competed there.

Are there official representations of the space (i.e., online, in promotional materials)? Do they accurately capture the space as you experienced it?

-Yes the sponsors for the team.

Is the space in transition, a changing space?

-no it is not.

What conflicts or tensions are there in the space?

-the competition of who is faster between runners

What is the space’s history? Do you see evidence of the past there in the present?

-Its relatively new but Olympians have competed on it, but you can see it unless you go to the trophy case in the stadium

How does this space differentiate itself from other spaces? What other spaces is it similar to, but how is it different from those spaces?

It’s the only track at ASU but its similar to the football and basketball stadiums because people go and watch them compete to see who is better at each sport.

Key Features / Profiles (taken from the Norton Field Guide (Goggin and Bullock) Chapter 16, pages 165-166)

An interesting subject. What is unusual about your space? Alternatively, is there something ordinary about it that you can show in an intriguing way?

-The only Track at ASU but it’s the same size as every other track in college and high school

Any necessary background. What background information will you need to include about the space in order to situate readers?

-story about a Olympian that competed on this track.

An interesting angle. Rather than trying to tell readers everything about the space, what angle(s) might you use?

-my experiences in track

A firsthand account. Did you interact with people in the space or participate in some way? What experiences did you have there that you can write about using “I”? (Yes, first person point of view is encouraged, especially for this paper.)

-yes I did when I tried out for the team

Engaging details. What specific information must you include in your description of the space? What potential does your space have for the use of sensory images, figurative language, dialogue, anecdotes, and showing rather than telling? What do you want the dominant impression to be?

-A place where some of the best go to compete

Generating Ideas and Text (taken from the Norton Field Guide (Goggin and Bullock) Chapter 16, pages 168-169)

Explore what you already know about your subject. Why do you find this space interesting? What did you already know about it?

-Because I love track, I know that ASU has one of best men’s track teams on the west coast

If you’re planning to interview someone, prepare questions. What would you like to -ask someone in the space in order to better understand it?

-What they run in track, where they went to high school and how fast do they run.

Do additional research. Does your space have an online component? How else might you gather additional research?

-The Track team has a website

Analyze your findings. What patterns, images, or recurring ideas or phrases did you use to describe your space? What contrasts or discrepancies do you see?

The lines in the track that create lanes and decide where a runner stops and starts. I usually talked about running fast and competition.

Come up with an angle. What is most memorable about your subject? What most interests you? What will interest your audience?

The great athletes that have competed on the track.

Rough Draft

My Track

            The Space I chose was the track here at ASU. It’s a big gated area with a large section of bleachers on one side that stands high over the track. The track is a bright red with lots of white lines that form lanes and starting lines all over the track and circles around a large portion of bright green grass and a small part of white track that fills a portion of the circle for the jump events. It’s a large wide open space that when empty is a nice peaceful place that has a great view of the football stadium. While this provides a great visual picture of the track, there is a lot more there than you may have originally thought. 

The coaches and the athletes who have spend countless hours working hard and competing on the track have a sense of “place attachment” (Vanclay), because that particular track is where they have put in their work and where they also get to show how hard they have worked when the track season comes around, it’s the place where they makes memories not of just self accomplishments but team accomplishments. They will remember the friends they have made and the races they have run. So for the rest of their lives they will associate that track as their track where all of those memories forever preserved in the minds of each athlete and coach. But what is amazing about that simple red track is that it can have a separate identity for everyone, it has no limiting factors so anyone can make their own memories there. It can be the dream finally realized it can be the place where you finally lost that weight you wanted to lose. But it can be

sad too, it can be where you weren’t good enough to make team or where you got injured and had to quit competing. It’s like a blank board where you can fill in what you have done there which is what gives it a different identity to everyone.

At the track there is a sense of something familiar maybe my high school track because every outdoor track is shaped and made in pretty much the same way so every track is almost identical but every athlete would no right away if this was his or her track, because if you spend enough time on one particular track you will feel a certain level of comfort running on that track because everything is familiar to you because it’s the track you have spent so much time running on, it’s like driving that same car everyday then changing to a different car you would immediately feel the difference because it not what you are use to driving. That familiarity with something is what makes you feel comfortable and it can give you confidence because use you are use to your track, and that feeling is the opposite when you go to a different track, because while you are familiar with what a track is and looks like, but you’re not as comfortable because it’s not your track.  And people do a lot better when they are comfortable and use to where they are because then everything is familiar and when everything is familiar there is less you have to focus on and worry about. Once you are familiar with the track you have a sense of place awareness because you understand and no exactly where everything is and being comfortable with every inch of the track knowing what lane is the fastest, where there is an imperfections are. Sense they have complete place awareness then that means they also have place familiarity of the track.

There is a sense of place commitment because they run and train on the same track almost every day and compete on it for their home meets, this time put in builds a commitment to that track because that’s where they put in their work, that track embodies everything that they have work for to get to this level and maybe the thing that will propel them onto the next level. Even people

Who don’t run on the track team anymore and graduated a long time ago still have a sense of place commitment because they all had their time when they had to put in their work and compete on which over time develops into a place commitment with that track because it still hold all the memories that they created there. That track will forever hold all the memories anyone is willing to create there and they have a commitment to that track because every time they step back out onto that track all of the memories they have made their will come rushing back and they will get the sensation of returning home and that feeling is truly why they have place commitment because human being look for things and places to connect to. Satisfaction comes from happiness or excitement and if you’re a runner the track on race day will create enough excitement to make you sick, and the satisfaction can be from lots of things from winning a race to symbolize all the hard work finally paying off to someone fighting to lose weight and maybe save their life, that too can create that place satisfaction because when you look at that track you can visualize all of the hard work you have done and all off the accomplishments you have achieved there. I can relate to this because I ran track all 4 years of high school and I have place commitment to my high school track because it’s the place where I’ve made a name for myself, where I have met some of my best friends and where I have some of my greatest memories, even though the track here is not the same place I ran in high school it still reminds me of my track and will always bring a smile to my face.

A track is simply just a bunch or rubber laid out in a circle that totals 400 meters around. It’s then sprayed a bright red then white lines are added on making up the 8 to 9 different lanes on a track and starting lines for each individual race. It may look simple and boring but there is so much more to it than just a place where people run. It can be the dream you’ve had sense running in high school it can be the place where you met your best friend or the love of your life. It’s a big wide open space that you can fill with whatever memories you want to create, like running college track and creating an attachment to that place because it was where you made a difference, or where you worked and achieved some life time goal you have for yourself, that’s the beauty of it because it can be everything to you or nothing to you at all, that’s why I chose the track because back home my track has so many memories for me, and I want to create that attachment to the track here as well.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

        

   

 

 

Readings Summary

Week 3 assignment

The Mesa Trail by Mary Austin is a very descriptive story that talks about a part of the desert called "The Mesa Trail". She describes the vast plane or what seems to be nothing but flat ground. But as she continues to talk I found out that there are flowers and plants that survive there. Then she starts talking about the wildlife that inhabit the trail, like the coyote for example who serve as the "Lord of the mesa"(Austin 96) patrolling in the night looking for its next victim. Or the Badger who digs in holes searching for its food, or the Hawk that wait for the little creatures to scurry out of their hole. She also talks about some people who live in the Mesa and the annual rodeo in April that brings people to a part of the mesa that usually is barren. In the beginning she talks about the barren land then progressively as she keeps going more things appear to occupy the area, so maybe it really isn’t as baron as she made it seem originally made it to be.

Polk Street by Frank Norris is a story about just one day on his street from morning to night. He starts by talking about the morning and the Laborers and the newsboys walking around getting to their jobs. Then a little later the streets would crowd with people getting breakfast and walking to work also the kids going to school. Then a little later the ladies from the great avenue made their appearance beautifully dressed. Later on towards dinner the street would grow quiet since everyone was enjoying supper, but as soon as supper time passed the stressed filled with nicely dressed people that were ready to have a good time, even a group of singers by the saloon singing music into the air. A little later the street would drop into silence since everyone had gone home, a little after the trolley stopped coming and the lights went dark, the only sound you might hear is the footsteps of a patrolling police officer of the quacks of a duck signaling that the street was finally asleep.

Frank Vanclay's Making Sense of Place is a paper about what exactly a place means. He describes a place as a "space imbued with memories"(Vanclay, 9). Anything from a landmark to a special spot to just home every special place is special because of the memories you have or the feeling the space gives you. From that spot where you had your first kiss to the place you grew up you will always have a connection with that place for forever. It’s that place you go to think, it’s that place that brings you back home. We strive to remodel our homes not so it looks better but so we can increase our connection to the house as not just being your house but being your home. Places can also have negative feelings maybe it was your grandmas favorite restaurant, or the chair your dad use to sit in places and things hold connections which we relate to not because we need to but because we want to.

Chapter 14 was the part of the book that dealt with plagiarism. Plagiarism is anything from copying someone entire body of work to forgetting to cite a source from which you received your information, it can also be taking words your friends told you to use and writing it down as if it was your own. When you write something it must be 100 percent your work unless your citing a source you use as back up information. Plagiarism can carry serious consequences so even if it’s for a stupid or pointless class, make sure you do your own work.

The benefits of looking at something through another lens or a different perspective are that you can step into someone else’s shoes and try to understand why people think what they think. If everyone tried to do this in the world, there would be less fighting if people just took the time to understand different people’s lenses because there is a reason why someone thinks what they do. Some drawbacks to looking at things from another perspective are that you are not incorporating your opinion in what you are writing so it can be mostly what you read or have seen which could all be incorrect or exaggerated information. I am still having trouble constructing a new lens the idea of thinking like someone else is easy but going into a new environment and thinking how someone else would think is hard to work around without incorporating some of my own opinion in there. Not using my opinion is what is most confusing in this section.